Episode 8: Romance in Your Marriage Part 4 of 4: Romance - Celebrating Your Spouse
/Sam and Erica's Marriage podcast
Romance in Your Marriage Part 4 of 4: Romance - Celebrating Your Spouse
Episode 008
February 25, 2019
Introduction
Welcome
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Part 4 of our 4 part series on Romance In Your Marriage “Celebrating your gift”
Discussion
How to Celebrate Your Spouse!
What does it mean to celebrate your spouse?
Why should we celebrate our spouse?
When should we celebrate our spouse?
How should we celebrate our spouse?
1. Celebrating each other is a fundamental element of romance.
Romans 12:10: Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.
Celebrating your spouse is an act of obedience that will endear you to one another
Being celebrated reminds us that we are loved
Celebration is both motivation and reward
Celebrating your spouse touches them deeply and in most cases permanently
2. Why should we celebrate our spouse
Celebrating your spouse is another way you strengthen your connection
Being celebrated reminds us that we are loved
Celebrating each other creates a “fan” culture
Celebrating builds confidence
Creates memories
Builds oneness-teamwork
Leaves a legacy for our children
1 Peter 4:8: Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.
3. When should we celebrate our spouse
. A. Birthday
Anniversaries
Accomplishments
Milestones
Holidays
Daily-regularly
4. How should we celebrate our spouse
Publicly
Privately
In the way your spouse appreciates most (speak your spouse’s love language)
Authentically
Sacrificially
Matthew 6:21: Where your treasures are your heart will be also.
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If within the last 6 months you had a “miss” with celebrating your spouse.. how about a “do-over”. Celebrate them, celebrate each other. Let us know how it goes. Leave a voicemail or comment on whatever platform you listen to the podcast. We are eager to hear from you.
RESOURCES
Recreational Enjoyment Inventory from His Needs, Her Needs
Recreational Enjoyment Inventory
His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Harley, Jr.
His Needs, Her Needs on Amazon
Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
A Celebration of Sex by Dr. Douglas E. Rosenau
A Celebration of Sex on Amazon
NEXT EPISODE
Next we dig a little deeper into the different “seasons” of marriage.
Transcript
[00:13] Welcome to Sam and Erica's Marriage podcast. Here we will talk about practical ways to have an even better marriage and ways to handle the challenges that are sure to come. Regardless of where you are in your marriage, your age, or how long you have been married, this podcast is for you. We will discuss difficult topics from dealing with past hurts and unforgiveness to making date night spicy. Even if you're single, you probably want a better marriage than the marriages you've seen. Join us weekly as we discuss ways to make marriages better. We invite you to sit back, relax, and enjoy the show.
[00:59] Welcome to Sam and Erica's Marriage podcast, episode 8.
[01:04] In this episode, we're going to be wrapping up our four part series on romance in your marriage but before we get started, we do want to remind you to go ahead and click that subscribe button. We've already talked about what that means it doesn't cost you anything, it's free. Just means you're automatically going to get the next episodes as they're released. So go ahead and click that subscribe button. It Is hard to believe that we are on episode 8 already wrapping up the Romance series. It was really fun. Yes, it was. We want to give a shout out to two of our loyal listeners, Janae and Kim. We have been getting reviews from them and they have been really good reviews, so we just wanted to give them a shout out. Just let them know. Thank you so much for listening. We really appreciate it.
[01:52] Yeah, thanks a lot. So in our final installment in our Romance series we're going to be talking about celebrating your gift. If you haven't checked out the other three episodes in the Romance series you gotta go and check them out. Like we've had a blast doing them. The people that have listened to them have told us they've enjoyed it. So after you listen to this if you haven't heard those, go back and check them out. Especially date night. Date night. Or maybe fanning the flames. They were both really good. We got a lot of that making date night spicy. Go back and check those out if you haven't heard them. But in this episode, we're going to be talking about how do we celebrate our spouse. We're gonna be talking about when we celebrate our spouse. We're gonna talk about why. We're going to be talking about what it really means to celebrate your spouse.
[02:47] And that's where we're going to start. We're gonna start with that. We're going to start with what it means to celebrate your spouse. Celebrating each other is a fundamental element of romance. It's a principle that we find in scripture and the overriding scripture that we're going to be using for this concept can be found in Romans 12: 10, which reads, "be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves". Sounds pretty simple. There's a "two parter" there. The first part is that to be devoted to one another in love, not the feeling of love, but be intentional about loving your spouse. And we're looking at this in the context of marriage. So we're talking about being intentional about loving your spouse and that we are to honor our spouse above ourselves. And that's where we get the celebration piece.
[03:50] That honor means the same as to celebrate, it's to esteem or to put them higher then you put yourself. So that's where we kind of look at this command to celebrate our spouse and celebrating your spouse is an act of obedience. If we just take that verse right there and we see what it tells us that we ought to be doing, to do so is being obedient. But that act of obedience, it endears us to our spouse in a unique way. You know, when we go out of our way to celebrate our spouse, when we make the conscious decision to celebrate our spouse, it touches them in a place. It makes them feel special in a way that really does contribute to the romantic feelings that we have about them. If we can go back to episode six where we talked a lot about meeting the emotional needs of our spouse, and this falls right into line with that.
[04:55] We completely disregard ourselves and we put our focus on our spouse's emotional needs. So that really, I think that scripture really speaks to that as well. I agree. I agree 100%. We also, when we think about what it is to be celebrated or what it is to celebrate, and we think about that for ourselves, it's really clear that being celebrated reminds us that we're loved that very act of being celebrated it, it does impact us in that way. We can go as far back as when we were children, you know, the slightest thing or the earliest thing is learning to walk. We received a lot of praise, you know, for doing that. And that gave us encouragement. And so that, that was a way that we learned that we were loved. And one of the things that I want to talk about as far as growing up in a household where there is praise, we could have spouses that grew up in a household where there were a lot of praise given. And then we could have spouses who grew up in households where there was no praise given. Okay. So that right
[05:57] there, the difference in growing up that can bring a little bit of tension to the household simply because the person that didn't grow up in that kind of environment may not know how to show love or may not know how to celebrate their spouse because it's something that they didn't learn growing up.
[06:14] That's a good point. That's a great point. Celebration can be both the motivation and the reward. So the very act of celebrating someone can be and we just use the example of just using the example of a person getting their degree. We know more people are finishing school later going back to school. When there's a culture of celebration in a marriage, oftentimes that spouse can lean on that. The fact that they know that their spouse is pulling for them, that they know that they're being cheered on as a motivation to push through, as motivation to persevere. Knowing that my family, my especially my spouse is waiting on me to finish so that they can celebrate me makes that celebration an actual motivating factor for the spouse to achieve. And at the same time, that same celebration, that same party for you getting your degree is the reward for you having persevered. That so the celebration itself can be both the motivation and the reward. , celebrating your spouse also touches them deeply. In most cases it's like a permanent mark. You know, oftentimes we'll have life experiences or will experience milestones or other reasons why we celebrate and we'll get into those more a little later. But it's those things that leave a lasting mark. They're not, you know, the accomplishment itself may be fleeting, but it's that celebration that, that we remember.
[08:09] It also, the celebration is motivating and both motivating and rewarding. And that part I want to back up and just, you know, throw in that it also motivates us to do our best. You know, we want to put in, give it all we got. You often say to let it rip. We want to let it rip because we know that our family is there to celebrate us. Our family is going to meet us at the finish line. Our family is going to make a big deal. So we definitely want to make them proud of us by doing our very best.
[08:41] So why should we celebrate our spouse? Now we kind of talked about what it is to celebrate, but why should we celebrate our spouse? And the primary reason is that the celebrating of our spouse strengthens the connection between my wife and I. You know, it connects us in a way that we can't get in the other aspects of romance. It's when I single out my spouse as being important. It's me cheering them in their accomplishment. it's me acknowledging how special they are and that that just draws us together in a very unique way. It also creates a fan culture. You know it when you really think about it. You know what better fan to have then my husband to know that he's proud of me means the world to me. Even if I fail, I know that Sam's still loves me. He's going to encourage me in my time of discouragement.
[09:46] And you know, Babe, you are really good at showing me that. You know, always making sure I see the positive and reminding me the truth about myself. So I just wanted to say thank you, I really do, I appreciate that. Well thank you. I do. It's um, the fan culture thing. When we say fan and I've got my air quotes, you guys can't see it cause this is a podcast, but. He really did the air quote thing. When I say fan culture, there's a special atmosphere that you can set in your household when you regularly celebrate each other and that thing is the fan culture itself is really about your spouse being your biggest cheerleader. You know, that nobody's pulling for me in the same way that my spouse pulls for me. And when you establish that fan culture, it's amazing how infectious it is.
[10:49] You know, it's not just the two of you know that your spouse is pulling for you, but you will see your children. Right! They know that dad is mom's greatest cheerleader and vice versa. You'll see extended family members, they kind of get caught up in learning to cheer for each other. You'll have friends and people at work. It's like an infectious thing when you create a culture between you and your spouse of celebrating each other, honoring each other, that it kind of infects other people. And um, a lot of authors, especially in the two books that we mentioned, they both outline it in different ways that this is the thing that is really special for a lot of men. You know, it's really important for man to have his wife be his cheerleader, not in the chauvinist away, like dress up in a cheerleader outfit, though that ain"t a bad idea. That ain't a bad idea, but that's not what I'm talking about, not what I'm talking about. Oh, okay. I'm talking about, yeah, back to the podcast. I'm talking about in the way that he knows he can associate how valuable he is as the husband by the degree to which his wife cheers for him. And that really encourages a man in a way that may be a little different than the fan culture might impact a woman. Also celebrating builds confidence. Did you have something on that?
[12:31] I was actually just going to say that the celebration of the man or a celebration of the husband, we can kind of equate that with showing respect that you know, and I'm not a man, tell me if I'm wrong, that, you know, when men hear or are encouraged or are celebrated, by their, by their wives, they feel like this is a form of respect. She respects me, she respects who I am, she appreciates who I am, you know, I'm valuable to her as opposed to, you know, women being celebrated. We don't really hear it that way.
[13:06] Yeah, that's absolutely true. That is 100% true. So the confidence thing, when you've got a spouse who's constantly telling you that you can do things, that you do things well, that people appreciate you and they're demonstrating that intentionally and often you kind of start to believe that about yourself. Right! Right. You start to believe, well, maybe I can do some things. Right. And sometimes those that even compels you to other things, other accomplishments.
[13:42] It definitely builds confidence. Yeah. You know, we began to believe not only, like you said, not only that we can do that thing, but wait, we can do something else and we could do that other thing. The bigger thing. The bigger thing. We can, you know, accomplish those goals. When we were sitting at date night and we're talking about some things that we want to accomplish, some goals that we have when we have a husband or a wife that's encouraging us and that's cheering us on, we feel a little bit more confident. We get a little bit more pep in our step. We start believing that we can accomplish those goals. And it is amazing how many goals we do accomplish when we know that we have somebody that's cheering, that's in our corner. Somebody that's cheering us on.
[14:25] Yeah. No celebrations, man. They seem so much more, they seem so, so much smaller. Yeah. In the time when they're taking place, but the value just goes on and on like it, it really does have a lasting impact. Right. Celebrations, they also build oneness.
[14:46] They also create memories. A lot of times the memory is not necessarily tied to the actual event, but it's tied to the celebration of the event. When we think about, you know, what our husband did or what our wife did to commemorate that occasion, it definitely, it'll stick out more than the actual event itself. Okay. Yeah, that makes perfect sense. It also builds oneness, teamwork. You know, when you have a husband and wife that are encouraging one another that are celebrating each other, they know that they are operating on the same team. Um, you know, when you, you can take the analogy of let's say a football team. Okay. When one person. You're going to actually do a sports analogy. Yeah,
[15:30] yeah. I'm going to, I'm going to try it too. Go ahead let that thing go. Say when somebody scores a touchdown because everybody knows a touchdown. So every, but when one person scores a touchdown, you know, the whole team, they're excited. They, you know, they, they fuel that thing. Or I have another one. How about when the team is winning and they hear all the energy from the crowd, it gives them the desire to want to do better and to score more. So that's the whole thing. You know, this is real sports analogy by Erica go head girl. That's all those Sundays sitting on that couch. When your husband or when your wife is behind you and cheering you on and pushing you to do that thing, it really, really builds, it builds oneness. I agree. Yeah, I agree. 100%. Those were really good those sports analogies right?. Perfect. Okay, good, good, good, good, good, good, good.
[16:29] Yeah, good. Write that down. I gotcha. Okay. It also leaves a legacy for our children. Okay. So just like with everything else, we want to, you know, teach our children to honor their spouse and it's something that they can pass down to their children. And you know, in our household, you know, we have the group chat, so we have the, yeah, we have a group chat where we are, it's the five of us and we're texting something as simple as, you know, the results from a medical test, you know, all the way up until an interview. Or if somebody says something positive about somebody at work, we really encourage one another. We push that. And so our daughters have learned that from watching us. So I think that that's, you know, it's, it's pass it down. Yeah, that is so powerful and that, that does tie that to creating that fan culture. Right, It does. But the legacy I believe, is that
[17:27] begins with us celebrating one another and yes, we, we pull our family into that celebration. They understand how to celebrate, but also they leave and take that into their marriages. Our daughters are single now. Right! Right! But they, at least two of them for sure have a desire to be married. And that's something that I believe they will take into their marriage. And hopefully that as a legacy piece that will be something that they'll pass down to their children and their children will take it into their marriages. And I think that calling it a legacy is, is perfect because that's, I think that's really what it is. Another scripture to that really speaks to this principle is found in 1 Peter 4:8. It says "that most important of all continued to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins"
[18:32] So go. Okay, well, Sam, what does that really have to do with romance? Or what does it have to do with celebration? Well, when you look at the verse, it says, most important of all continue to show deep love for each other. Show deep love. That's love being an action thing, not a feeling show deep love. So to show deep love a celebration is a perfect example of demonstrating deep love. When my wife has a birthday and I throw her a surprise birthday party, I'm showing deep love for her. I'm demonstrating my love for her, not just, Oh, I feel warm and fuzzy when I see her, but I'm showing it and I'm not just showing it to her. I'm showing it to everybody in our circle. Everybody in our sphere, they all see me demonstrate this love for her. And I think that's what 1 Peter Four says in the context of marriage and that love covers a multitude of sins.
[19:48] When I throw my wife that birthday party, she's not going to think about the fact that I didn't pick up my socks this morning. That sin is covered by the love that I show that deep love I showed will make her at least for the time being, forget about me not taking out the trash when the bag got full, love, deep love covers a multitude of sins. Okay, you buying that? I, yeah. Okay. I am buying that. Alright, so. No, that's good. Okay, so when should we celebrate our spouse? This was so good. I had a little list of times and the brains of the operation bailed me out again. I lam not the brain. She is absolutely the brain of the operation. She caught the one that I missed the most important when we should celebrate our spouse and that's every day. We should celebrate our spouse multiple times a day on a regular basis. It should be a part of what we do. I made this list ya'll and everyday, daily wasn't on the list.
[21:02] It was a good list though. I mean you, you got all the, the "bigs". You got the birthday, the anniversaries, the holidays. You did. Yeah. But daily to me daily stuck out because these things, the birthdays, the anniversaries, the holidays, those are automatic. They should be automatic. Right! They should be automatic. But daily is something that we actually have to stop and think about. You know we have to go, okay
[21:36] How can I encourage Sam today? You know, how can I encourage my wife today? How can I encourage my spouse today? And it's not, the daily is not necessarily the big, you know, the bouquet of flowers or the chocolate. It's the little note. I really appreciate you picking up your socks or you know, I really appreciate the fact that you, you actually do your own laundry. You do it all you don't even need me. You know, but it's, you know I appreciate those small things. Daily is generally where those small things come into play. you know, the car that sent through the post office that you get actually in the mail. Those are daily things that I thought about. I haven't done that in a while. Oh, that's all right. I know that the thought is there. It's cool. It's cool.
[22:29] So when should we celebrate our spouse? Everyday! Everyday we should be celebrating each other, but there are some other times that we celebrate and we mentioned those. Birthdays. We should absolutely celebrate our spouse on their birthday. A birthday is like a that's, like our, my special day. Like that's my day only me where we get to celebrate me today. And it's funny thing like birthdays are, some are, I think men and women see birthdays a little differently. Most of the guys I know, I know some guys that are huge birthday guys, but for the most part their a lot less then their spouses on birthdays. You know the ladies tend to be a little bigger on birthdays and they're some psychologist, they're some people, actually the books that we recommended this month. They even, a couple of them even addressed this issue of why in female culture the birthday is more significant than in male culture and they say it has a lot to do with the pregnancy. When is the baby due?
[23:37] Right! And that date is always there. Absolutely. When is the baby due? When is the baby due? The birthday. Birthday. Birthday. Yeah. That's, wow I completely forgot about that. Oh, where a man.
[23:46] nobody ever asked the man when the baby's due. Cause he wouldn't know. Because he's not carrying the kid. He really it's really not as important to him. Right. It's unthinkable for a woman that a person could forget a birthday. For the guy. it's not that, it's not as big a deal. It's a big deal, but it's not even close to, it pales in comparison what that birthday means when you compare it to what that birthday means to a woman. I actually know people who more probably more women than man who celebrate their birthday the whole month. Yes. It's a month birthday. Not just that day, but from the first to the 31st or the first to the 28th. I've heard that. They celebrate it the whole month and I do stuff everyday of the month. I've heard that. I've heard that. Yes. So we celebrate birthdays and we should.
[24:44] Birthdays are important. I'm in no way giving guys a pass. It sounds like it though. Absolutely not. If that's bro. if you think you got to pass on birthdays cause you didn't carry baby, you got to find a different podcast. Could you imagine how that conversation would go? Sam said, no, Sam didn't. Let's just get clear. You absolutely. Episode Eight, Sam said, never ever miss a birthday. Birthdays are important. Those are some of the most important dates in your wife's life. You don't ever miss a birthday. The other day you never miss is an anniversary. And again, this is something that men and women see a little differently and this ain't just my opinion. Other people have had this opinion as well, and we'll talk about that more in future episodes because my wife is looking at me like, yeah bruh, you bought to mess up. When we were preparing for this conversation got a little thick.
[25:41] Got a little heated, so I'm going to blame it on to PhDs that wrote the books at the bottom of our show notes page. They said this thing as well. They did. Anniversaries. Do you want me to do the little snippet or. I think it will help. It'll explain it better. Okay, so if you go back to when boys and girls are kids from the moment that most girls are able to pretend, one of the earliest play times is pretending to get married. They pretend they have on their wedding dress. They pretend that they're in the wedding and the flowers and the bridesmaids are wearing this and that, so they are looking forward. They begin looking forward to their wedding day before they understand anything about what it is to be married. They began to build the importance of this date even as young children, whereas no boy has ever played "let's play wedding".
[26:50] They, okay, all right Tim, you gonna be my best man. Okay. You got on a all black Tux. I got on a white. That's not something boys do. So there's a very different value put on this date from the time that we're children and again we'll get to talk about this more, but I just wanted to just explain a little bit of what I'm talking about. I'm in no way making excuses for a guy forgetting his anniversary. That's unacceptable. But I am saying that there's, there's a little reason behind why the date is much more significant for one spouse, the wife then it may be to the husband. Not saying it is not important to both, but there is a difference. And I just wanted to talk about that.
[27:40] I really think that the media is probably giving guys a bad rap as far as forgetting the anniversary is concerned. Cause I really don't think that there are that many guys that are forgetting the anniversary. You know, it could happen here or there, but forgetting about it, I just don't think that that's a real thing. I do, you have been saying that for years. You've even said that to our girls. You know that guys aren't thinking about the wedding. Girls are at the first date at the movies thinking about what color they go wear, what the theme's gonna be, the dress and all that. And the guy is thinking about, wow, what kind of car was that? Or that was really cool how that thing blew up. Right it's completely different. Yeah. So we, you know, and Sam is really, really good about making it, making the girl boy thing clear with our girls. And so it makes a lot of sense to me as I'm sitting here listening to him. But when we were preparing it was like, dude, you are not ready to just let that go.
[28:40] This does not like a gift that I have not. I am. If you guys have seen our logo, I am a boy, like blue all the way. My wife is a girl, she is a girly girl. Like, I'm looking right now at pink headphones and pink microphone and pink pop filter, like she is a girl. So these differences that we have, we bring them to the table, honestly. Yes, yes. And we have to discuss them. You know we have to say, Hey, this is why I think what I think, not, oh, you're crazy. Like this is just the way it works inside my head. I've never been a girl, so I don't know how it works inside your head, but this is the way it works inside my head. Right. And we have that conversation with a lot of things.
[29:30] Yeah, and it really helps. I mean, it helps when you explain it to me in a way that I'm not familiar with, or if I explain it to you in a way that you're not familiar with, it makes a lot of sense. I can't think blue because I'm pink, you know? So it works. We have the conversation, it really works. And by the way, the logo is blue because he's all blue. You know, we're so pink and blue. It's, it's really, it's, crazy. But anyway, back to the podcast.
[30:00] We celebrate birthdays, we celebrate anniversaries, we celebrate accomplishments and milestones we talked, we used the example of a graduation. we should, we can also think about achievements like in hobbies or things that you do at your church, big projects that you complete, all of those things, all of the above deserve a celebration. And we ought to be looking for opportunities to celebrate our spouse. We also celebrate our spouse during holidays. Holidays include Valentine's Day. Sweetest day. Sweetest Day. Mother's Day. Mother's Day. Father's Day. Yeah, not, not Father's Day. Oh yeah, Father's Day. Yeah. Yeah. Here we go this is a pink blue thing again. Father's Day ain't Mother"s Day. He swears that fathers just don't get enough respect on Father's Day. I'm just saying that it ain't mother's Day. That's all I'm saying. It's not Mother's Day. But no, all of those dates, all of those holidays, they deserve celebration.
[31:05] And it's important that we celebrate those dates. Again, something we're going to talk about in future podcasts, but that Valentine's Day in the Northern Ohio, Northeast Ohio we have Sweetest Day. It don't exist anywhere else y'all, just so you know, it's a northern, it's the Northeast Ohio thing. And regardless to how you feel about that husband, it's an opportunity to celebrate your wife. It's an opportunity to celebrate your wife on Valentine's Day regardless of if you feel like Valentine's Day is just a scam made up by card companies, it's still an opportunity for you to celebrate your wife. You've got to take advantage of that opportunity
[31:46] For um, the wife for the husband. Sometimes husbands want Valentine's day gifts as well. Sweetest day gifts as well. Who's that man? I don't know men want gifts. You know for the wife who is expecting this, you know, this big gift or this big beautiful bouquet of roses on Valentine's Day and it doesn't happen. Let your husband know that that is something that you want. We automatically assume that he should know. And Sam, again, I'm just giving him all kinds of props today. He's very good at saying, Erica, you have to tell me because I don't know. And I'm okay with saying, Hey, this is what I want. This is what I like. And it makes it easier that way. So if you haven't told your guy that you want flowers or that you don't like flowers
[32:40] that you want chocolate, you want your flowers sent to your job, you kind of gotta give him a little bit of a pass because he doesn't know. Now this doesn't give him an excuse, this is not a reason not to do these things. But yeah, he needs a little help. Help him out. If you tell him he's a lot more likely to get you what you are looking for. If you don't tell him, oh, I don't know, and the guy brings you microwave don't get mad at him for bringing you a microwave. You didn't tell him that you wanted flowers? You've got to let them know, let the guy know he will get you flowers if you tell him you love flowers. But should't he already know? He does not know you told us. That knows golf club. He doesn't know flowers. If you like lilies and you don't like roses, do you think he knows? He should know, right?
[33:34] He doesn't, tell him he will. He won't get it wrong again, but you gotta let them know. All right ladies, gotta let them know. Gotta let them know. Guys, you gotta be listening. She tells you, write it down. Don't trust your brain. Put it in your phone. Put it in your phone because I've, I've jumped out on a limb with you guys. Now you've got to help me out. Oh yeah. So those holidays you gotta, you gotta celebrate. You got to celebrate. So how should we celebrate our spouse? The number one thing that popped into my head, we were talking about flowers. The number one thing that popped into my head when I thought about how to was publicly and privately, publicly being, especially when it comes to those flowers. My wife loves to, and from what I found out, most women do, they love to get flowers, but they especially love to get flowers at work. At work.
[34:33] It's the public celebration, the public acknowledgement, the public expression of my love for her means that much more. So I shouldn't just celebrate her with flowers in private though that's appropriate at times too. I have to acknowledge that it adds value to the celebration when I do it out in front of her peers. When I do it in front of her coworkers. I'm saying to her, Hey, I'm not ashamed to say that you are the most important person to me. I will celebrate you in front of your friends, in front of your coworkers, in front of my friends because you are that important to me. So to celebrate your spouse publicly is just as important as celebrating them privately. I think it goes back to. that really is good. That fits. I also think that it goes back to, you know, when we were in junior high school
[35:38] or high school, you know, when we had a boyfriend, we couldn't wait to put that letter-men's jacket on, you know, walking around and letting our girlfriends know, what it really did was it says, I am loved. You know, I am appreciated. He values me and um, you know, I just want to show everybody. I just want, you know, it's a thing. I just want to show everybody. And I think that that's the same thing with me and the flowers. I even get flowers here and I take him to work. But mainly because I like to have flowers because I'm at work the majority of the time. But, you know, I get women who literally will walk into my office and say, I love your flowers. Where are your flowers?
[36:22] You know? So, so it, you know, it's, it really is that public. It's good. Yeah. It really, super important for a lot of reasons. It's also important that we appreciate our spouse in the way that they enjoy most. You know, we don't just celebrate them in a way that we like to be celebrated. We celebrate them in a way that they like to be celebrated. This goes to, and you can
[36:52] correct me if I'm wrong, but it goes to meeting those emotional needs that we talk about, you know, in the episodes before. And also, you know, speaking your spouse's love language, you know, if you know that their love language is gifts, then you probably want to give them gifts as opposed to words of affirmation or physical touch. Um, because that is not speaking their language. That is not,
[37:17] they probably won't appreciate it as much as if you were to give it to them in a language that they understand. That's perfect. That's perfect. How should we celebrate our spouse? Another way is that we should do it authentically. Now it sounds a little weird that I would say do it authentically because if it were authentic, I wouldn't have to tell you. But that's not it. To celebrate them authentically means that you have to consider your spouse. You have to think about that milestone or that holiday or whatever it is that you're getting ready to celebrate them for. And you really have to take some time to just contemplate what it took for them to reach that goal. The sacrifices they had to make, the effort they had to put in the the amount of time they have put up with you when they're thinking about that anniversary.
[38:17] All of those things, if you take time to think about those things, sometimes those celebrations can stir you deeply where you really do authentically appreciate them. You really come to the, yeah, her getting this degree wasn't that important to me, but when I think back of all the nights where she stayed up late. When I think of how she could have just in any day just said, forget it, t's not that important, but she stuck it out. You know those things stir something authentic inside of you and when you celebrate from that place, you get a completely different type of celebration and it, and it will be reflected. It will be received from your spouse.
[39:07] I agree, you know, this goes to when you really think about and it's that scripture that where your treasure is there your heart will be also. You know, when you put effort and energy and thought into the celebration into, when you take into consideration how hard he's working. I mean he's working two jobs and coming home and taking care of the kids and helping you, taking care of the finances and encouraging you as you struggle at work. When you think about all of these things, it really makes it, that's authentic. It really makes you, it you put a little bit more effort, you put a little bit more of your heart into celebrating your husband.
[39:53] Yeah, I think you're right baby. I think you touched on Matthew 6: 21 "where your treasures are, your hearts will be also. When we talk about the last element of how we should celebrate our spouse, that verse is just so powerful and it's powerful for a couple of different reasons. But, the last tenant is we should do it sacrificially. So it wouldn't be sacrificial, this celebration if it didn't cost me something. Right! Now, I hate the bottom line everything about money, but in the context of that verse where your treasures are, your heart will be also, we could very easily use money as treasures. So sacrificially celebrating your spouse would be to spend some money on your spouse to do the celebration. You want to do a birthday party. You know, you start setting aside some of your allowance. It may take you a year to set aside enough to be able to throw the party that you want to throw.
[40:57] So now it's going to be a sacrifice. It may be that it's going to cost you a lot more in effort or in energy or in sleep, or you may not enjoy cooking. So you're going to have to do something that you hate doing to do that breakfast in bed on Mother's Day, whatever the case may be, to celebrate your spouse sacrificially is valuable. And when you put it in the context of this is like the type of scripture that I love. I love the formulas. A Plus B equals C. I love those. So it is says where your treasures are. Your heart will be also. That means that if I put my money into my wife, that my heart will follow. My heart will be into my wife. That is so good. That's the verse. I love it when it's just plain like that.
[41:57] If I put my effort into my wife, if I treasure my effort or a treasure my time and I invest my time in my wife did, my heart will go to my wife too, and that's the linchpin as to how celebrating your spouse ties into romance. Because if I put my stuff into my spouse, my feelings will follow that, that feeling, those tingles the flames. If I put my treasures there first, all of those things will follow. If the word of God is true. And we believe. And we believe it's true. That the word of God is true, wherever I put my treasures, my heart will be also. That is true.
[42:50] Another part of the sacrifice that we were talking about is, you know, for those husbands, a little while ago, you mentioned Sweetest Day is only being celebrated in Northeast Ohio and Valentine's Day. You know, those are holidays that men generally say are man made or made by the greeting card companies. You said that I think. I think you said that once or twice. I think you said that too, the sacrifice is for the man to say, look, I know that this, this is what this is, but I am going to set myself aside. I am going to go out and put the effort, put the energy into doing this for my wife because she is important to me. I love her. I want her to know that there is nothing that would come between me celebrating her, whatever it is. Even if I think it's a scam, I'm going to do everything that I can do to make her know that I love her and that I want to celebrate her at every chance that I get, every opportunity that I get. So when I think about the the sacrificially I think about that. That is
[44:06] beautiful. That is beautiful. That is sacrificial celebration personified. That is exactly what it is. Yo, that was awesome and that sums up celebrating your gift. Sums it up. So as we close out this episode we just want to ask you guys to do a couple things. I always say a couple of things and it's never just a couple. One day it's going to be a couple but it ain't a couple in episode 8. Episode 8, we're still asking for you guys to pray for us. Pray for us, pray for this podcast before we started tonight, we prayed for you. We did. The person is listening to our voices right now we prayed specifically for you and we do that every time we get together to do something related to this podcast. We pray for you the person that's going to listen. So we just ask it, you know you would put us on your prayer list, you pray for us and pray for this endeavor.
[45:05] Partner with us as we are praying for you, you praying for us. We also just want to take a moment to share with you guys a review that we got. A review that we received from this was actually on iTunes from angelcake218. She gave us five stars because you gotta give us five stars, right? Like everybody that's reviewed us has given 5 stars! You've gotta give us five stars. So angelcake218 gave us five stars and she wrote, "I love this podcast. Thank you for your transparency and tackling topics that need to be discussed in marriage, praying for you as a couple and for your podcast. Keep being courageous. This is so needed". Thank you angel cake two one eight we really appreciate the review. If you've enjoyed this podcast, give us a review. We'll shout you out. We'll read your review.
[46:00] Give us a review. So just like every episode from one through seven, you know we have an action item for you. If within the last six months you had a miss with celebrating your spouse. So we had, I don't know, we've had a couple of holidays. If you had an anniversary, we had Valentine's Day a birthday. Anything or maybe within the last year, you get to choose. You get the opportunity to do a "do over". Brother, we can use a do over. Celebrate them, celebrate each other, and as always, let us know how it goes. Leave us a voicemail or comment on whatever platform you listen to the podcast. We are eager and excited to hear from you. Again, we love doing this. We appreciate you taking the time to listen to us. We hope you tune in to the next episode. God bless. God bless.