Seasons in Your Marriage Part 1 of 4: Seasons - When Your Marriage is in Winter
/Sam and Erica's Marriage podcast
Seasons in Your Marriage Part 1 of 4: Seasons - When Your Marriage is in Winter
Episode 009
March 4, 2019
Introduction
Welcome
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Part 1 of our 4 part series on Seasons In Your Marriage “When Your Marriage is in Winter”
Discussion
What is winter in a marriage?
How do seasons relate to marriage?
What winter is?
What winter is not?
So what do we do now that we know?
1. What are seasons and how do they relate to marriage?
Rom 1:20 For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities--his eternal power and divine nature--have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.
God reveals himself to us through creation
His sovereignty
Seasons are natural laws that further reveal truths about God and His creation
We can’t make a season change. Only God can!
Seasons mean a lot to us personally
We chose to name our ministry “Seasons” because of the power of this concept
How do seasons apply to marriage
We have each of the 4
God gives a plan for each of the 4
If we are present and obedient in the season we’re in we are almost ensured better seasons in the future
Gal 6:7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.
Gen 8:22 "As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease."
2. What winter is
A time where very little grows
A time when things are less active (stillness)
A time for prime time for rest and restoration
Almost forced
A season filled with beauty...but the beauty looks different
A great season for planning and preparing for the rest of the year
3. What winter is not
A dead season
Your marriage, love or spiritual things are not dead
A desperate season
It’s only desperate when you haven’t handled your previous seasons properly
Pro 31:21 NIV When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
A dry season
Technically the precipitation of winter is the basis for the spring growth.
A season to be depressed
Winter can be as fun and as fulfilling as any other season
4. What then should we do in winter
A. Enjoy all your harvest from the fall
B. Great season for hanging out with your spouse
C. Good time to start new spiritual disciplines
D. Plan your spring and summer
E. Enjoy things that you can only do in winter
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RESOURCES
Recreational Enjoyment Inventory from His Needs, Her Needs
Recreational Enjoyment Inventory
His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Harley, Jr.
His Needs, Her Needs on Amazon
Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
A Celebration of Sex by Dr. Douglas E. Rosenau
A Celebration of Sex on Amazon
NEXT EPISODE
Next we dig a little deeper into the different “seasons” of marriage.
Transcript
[00:13] Welcome to Sam and Erica's Marriage podcast. Here we will talk about practical ways to have an even better marriage and ways to handle the challenges that are sure to come. Regardless of where you are in your marriage, your age, or how long you have been married, this podcast is for you. We will discuss difficult topics from dealing with past hurts and unforgiveness to making date night spicy. Even if you're single, you probably want a better marriage than the marriages you've seen. Join us weekly as we discuss ways to make marriages better. We invite you to sit back, relax, and enjoy the show.
[00:59] Welcome to Sam and Erica's Marriage podcast, episode nine. Nine! We want to thank you so much for listening. We want to give a couple shout outs today to Kja, Nelly and Michelle Marie. Okay. Michelle Marie is actually single and she left a very good review on Podbean so go and check that out when you get a chance. Today we are going to be doing something different on this episode. The first month in January we talked about financing your marriage. In February, we talked about romance in your marriage this month for the month of March, we are going to be doing something different and we're going to be talking about seasons in your marriage. So sit back, relax and enjoy the show. Oh my goodness. Hey, and before we get into the episode, we do want to just remind you guys to hit that subscribe button and everybody, you guys, you listeners, you grizzled veterans to people that have been with us the whole time.
[02:02] You've been doing a great job. They've been hitting that subscribe. We've got a lot of subscribers. Uh, but if this is your first time or second time, and you haven't yet, just know that it doesn't cost you anything to subscribe, just means you get the next episodes automatically. Uh, so go ahead and hit that button. Now you guys know that Sam had to say that, right? That's like his thing. Yeah. Yeah. That's the subscribe button. Subscribe Button. That's my personal thing. The subscribe button. So seasons in your marriage. Seasons in your marriage is what we're going to be discussing for the next four episodes. And in this episode we're going to be talking about the season of Winter and what Winter in your marriage is all about. We're also going to be talking about how the seasons relate to marriage. Like, okay, I get the seasons thing, but what does that mean as it concerns a marriage, we're gonna be about what Winter is, what Winter isn't, and we're going to be talking.
[03:04] I guess once we've determined, now we understand what Winter is and isn't, was that mean? What do I have to do? What should I do? So those are the things we're going to be talking about in this episode. And as we get started, I guess we owe you a little backstory as to how we decided to do seasons. Well, one of the ways that God reveals Himself to us to all of mankind is through creation. You know, the general revelation and that concept is found throughout scripture. But specifically in Romans 1:20 it reads, "for since the creation of the world, God's invisible qualities, His eternal power and divine nature have been clearly seen. Being understood from what has been made so that people are without excuse". And that just means that, that God made this creation in it. It in itself is evidence that a, He is God.
[04:07] And B, it tells us things about him and about us. Seasons are a part of the creation. It's actually seasons are natural laws that further reveal things about God, things about how things work in his creation. Uh, one of the things that just jumps out at us is, you know, His sovereignty. You know, God is sovereign. That means that He's in control, that no one makes Him, can make Him do anything, that He doesn't need any help. He can do whatever He wants to do. Seasons are one of the ways that we get to see that display. When you talk about the sovereignty of God. I love that word because what it really does is it really puts me in the mind space of whatever it is that I'm going through in my life. God is in total control that you know, He is not caught off guard by whatever.
[05:08] If I'm, whatever season I'm in or whatever situation I'm in, he's not caught off guard by that. Everything that's happening in my life has been filtered through His love and His grace and His mercy. I love that word. Absolutely. Absolutely. And we see that in seasons in a unique way. I guess one of the unique ways that we see God's sovereignty in this concept of a season is that God determines the days of each season. Right! Like there's nothing I can do. Let's say I don't like Winter. There's nothing I can do to make Spring come one day sooner. Right! Then God says it's going to happen. Right! Scientists of map that out, they think, you know, March 21st it's going to be, no, God determines when Spring comes. There is nothing you can do. It doesn't matter if you run out of something, it doesn't matter how badly you may need the next season.
[06:09] You can't do anything to make it happen, nor can you do anything to skip one or two extend one. God's sovereignty is demonstrated to us in seasons. I think that that's really good when you really think about the length of that season is for a purpose that something is happening. You know? It's something is happening. You need it. We need that season to be that long because God is working something. He's doing something. Something is being created. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, that's, that's, I think that's absolutely it. You know? Now for us personally, as some of you may know, Sam and Erica's marriage podcast is actually a part of Seasons Ministries. Really, really, so this concept of seasons was so big for us that it was almost like the natural thing when we were discussing starting a ministry because God revealed this thing to us
[07:14] Kind of like in a unique way or a personal way. Not Unique, but in a personal way. A few years ago and it just blew us, kind of bowled us over in a way that it's been a part of our thinking in a lot of different areas for a long time. So that's like seasons, that's where seasons, for those of you that have asked was what is this, what's the seasons thing? This is actually what the seasons thing is about. So how do seasons apply to marriage? Because that's really what you tuned into this episode for and there are a few. There are lots and lots of ways, but we're only gonna talk about a few. And even as we're talking about those few, let's look at a couple specifically like there four definitive seasons. And these four seasons can match seasons that we experienced in our marriage.
[08:08] Those for definitive seasons are Winter, Spring, Summer, and Fall. We're going to over the next four episodes, kind of define what those are in our marriage and we're actually going to explain some of the connections between each of the seasons over the next four episodes. Another thing that applies to marriage is that in each season God gives us things to do. You know, there are things that we do in Winter in our marriage that we shouldn't be doing in Summer in our marriage. Right! Right! Summer has a different purpose. When we're in a Summer season in our marriage, we should be doing some things that we only do in Summer. Same thing with Spring and we're going to get into all of those things. Another thing about these seasons that really does translate or concept about these season that really does translate into marriage is that in each season, God expects us to be present in that season and obedient in that season. Like doing those things that we just, I just mentioned, God expects us to be doing the things that ought to be done in Winter when we're in Winter.
[09:23] not just laying around because hey, well the fire's hot and it's cold outside so I'm just going to, yeah, that's not the way this works. God gives us unique things to do in each season and he expects us to be doing those things. And if we do, we're all most ensured to be blessed, to have better subsequent seasons, like each season, bills on seasons in our future. I believe that God demonstrates his faithfulness to us that when we're obedient did he does and bless us in in future seasons based on us doing what we're supposed to do in the right now, in the season that we're in.
[10:06] One of the things Babe that we, when we talked about seasons years ago, when you first brought it to me and laid it out for me, it was amazing and I've always referred back to this, this scripture, this Ecclesiastes 3:1 where it says "there's a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens". That really, it spoke to my heart. It spoke to my soul, like it really let me know again, talking about God's sovereignty, that the things that are happening in my life, they are not accidents. You know, they're not by happenstance that something is happening in that season. You know, whether it's a season for me personally or a season for our marriage, if we're in a Winter season, God is doing something in that Winter season. We have to be doing what He calls us to do in the Winter. And I know we're going to get into that. But that's really, you know, what that scripture means and it really ensures me that nothing lasts forever. That there is a time for, you know, for everything that at some point 1 thing ends, and another thing begins. You know, so that scripture really speaks to my heart. And if you get a chance, just go, you know, for the listener, go to Ecclesiastes 3, it is a whole list of things that will really, really blessed your soul.
[11:28] No doubt about it. Uh, another scripture that comes to mind is Galatians 6:7 and I love, you know, the way to starts, "do not be deceived. God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows". Now the reaping and sowing. We're really going to spend a lot of time talking about sowing in our next episode where we talk about Spring. Spring is really the time where we sow, but this is important to us because it explains it. There's a connection, there's a connection between this season and a future seasons. Right! Right! So it's not that what we do in this season is just for this season that's not even close to true it's what we do in this season is gonna impact a future season. So Galatians 6:7 is saying that he's saying that God is going to be God and if you sow bad seed in this season, you can guarantee in a future season you're going to reap bad stuff, right?
[12:35] Cause you planted bad seed in this season. Right! And vice versa. If you plant good seed now you're guaranteed to reap good stuff in a subsequent season. We're gone to get into all of that reaping and sowing in other episodes because Winter, unlike those other seasons is not a season designed for sowing. Not primarily. Primarily Winter is about some other things. Genesis 8:22 reads, "as long as the earth endures, seed time and harvest, cold and heat, Summer and Winter, day and night will never cease". That's another broad concept, but it, it can be applied even to just Winter alone and it, it really lines up with what Erica is saying, that God has a purpose for everything that we're going through. Every season we ever enter. He has a purpose for it. It's not, it didn't take Him by surprise or the circumstance didn't sneak up on Him. He knew exactly what we were going to be into. Right! And it's not going to last forever. Right! As sure as Winter came Spring is coming too. They won't ever stop. As long as the earth is around, those seasons will exist.
[13:58] That whole concept really, and you know I've mentioned this about three or four times, how the sovereignty of God and you know how it doesn't last forever. What it does is for me personally, it really, it gives me, it encourages me. It encourages us, right? You know, it helps me to go, okay, all right, this is not going to last forever. This is a season. Um, this is a temporary thing, although it feels like it's going to last a lifetime. It feels like we've been in this Winter season because we were going to talk about this too. But Winter gets a bad rap. You know, I give Winter a bad, I want to leave northeast Ohio so bad, but my husband just won't let me. It really does gets a bad rap. And when we're in Winter season in our marriages, it seems like it lasts forever. Those feelings, we'll just
[14:52] get a hold of us and will have us believe in all kinds of things. And one of the things as we discuss what Winter isn't, is we're going to talk about those feelings because believe it or not, all of the things that we've been taught about Winter, especially spiritually if and in our marriages, you know, anytime somebody is in a tough time in their marriage, we call that Winter. You know, if you get a divorce or you, you're contemplating divorce, people call that Winter as if people only get divorced. That's ridiculous. Like people only fight in Winter, storms only happen in Winter. Like none of those things are true. They feel that way, but that's just not true. When we are anchored in truth we know that people have celebrations in Winter just like people have funerals in Winter. The birth of Jesus is in. When we celebrate that and went to, I know those people don't just have babies in the Spring.
[15:54] I think people are born all year around these seasons. We kind of, I don't want to say perverted, but we've kind of mislabeled these life events as seasons and it really kind of pollutes the concept that God is really trying to teach us something in seasons. He's teaching us things and when we're anchored in the truth, we can offset some of those feelings by being able to say, well, yes, it absolutely feels that way. Right! If I had to say what Winter feels like, it feels like this thing I'm going through, but you certainly could be in a different season, but experiencing some bad things. We've talked about this before, you know, the sun shines in the Winter time. Absolutely. You know it, it rains in the Summer. That's right. You know what I mean? You know, we it, they can sometimes be a little interchangeable but not really, you know, these things are happening in both the Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall.
[16:51] But we associate, I am saying this is all of us do. I associate Winter with all the bad stuff, all the bad stuff, the dadd, uh, you know, when the snow melts it's dirty outside, you know, but, but that's definitely the bad rap that Winter has gotten. And then you know, another thing is when we're doing what we're supposed to do in the season where God has planted us, then we can look forward and be excited about the next season, right. When we're doing what we're supposed to be doing in the Fall, Winter can be a good season. So let's talk about some of that because that's, I think, I think we've laid it out. I think now it's time to put some meat on it. Okay. So what is Winter? Winter is a time, and this is how you would identify what season you're in in your marriage.
[17:40] Winter is a time where very little grows. And that's an, that's an honest, accurate assessment of what Winter is in creation. It's a time when very little grows. In Northeast Ohio we've got great examples of that. If I were to look out my window right now, there's a tree out front that if you didn't know any better, you would assume that that tree is dead. Everything about it looks dead. But it's not dead. No, cause it has a ton of leaves, a ton of leaves in the Spring and a whole lot of them on the grass in the Fall. That's right. Yeah. They, they make plenty of leaves, but right now it looks dead and it's not. It's just not much growing. Same thing with my grass. Same thing with the flowers that are planted in our flower beds. We would think that those things are dead, but they're not.
[18:35] They're just not growing because very little grows in the Winter and that's okay and we're going to talk about why that's okay. Winter is also a time where things are a lot less active. You know, our lives tend to slow down a little bit in the Winter. Your marriage will have a different tempo when you're in a Winter season. Then when you're in any other season, things will slow down. A different tempo doesn't mean bad tempo, it just means a different one. It just means a slower pace then if you were in Spring or Summer. Absolutely. It's just different. There's also a stillness to that, you know, and a stillness is something that confuses people also. It makes them think again that things are, are bad when they're not. They're just still, still is a, it's a state that we find in the Bible and it's not a negative connotation.
[19:39] It's actually a posture. Be still and know that I am God. You took that right out of my head. Right. Cool. Cool. Yes, yes. It's a posture and it's a posture where good things happen and we need to be, we need to be mindful of that when we're trying to identify, am I in Winter? And if I am, these are some things that are real about Winter. Uh, another thing is that a Winter is because of those other two things. It's almost like a prime time for rest and restoration. Right! You know, we think about what's really going on with that tree or my grass or, uh, the squirrels and a lot of those things are dormant or they're resting, they're hibernating. These are things that are about restoration. They're about almost preparation. Right! Resting up. Right for the Spring. For the Spring. Cause I'm going to need a huge surge of energy to start doing those things that I'm planning right now. And we're going to get to that. That's like my next, not the next one, but the one after that. It's planning, but the one that's up next is that Winter is a beautiful season. It's beautiful in a different way than let's say Spring is. In northeast Ohio, I keep plugging Northeast Ohio. I love being from Cleveland.
[21:17] You know, this is my place we've lived in a
[21:21] whole lot of places. But if I had to pick one, this is where I would pick. So in the Fall we have beautiful foliage. The colors are colors that you can't find anywhere else. We do. Uh, the firey
[21:36] red's the deep oranges, the gold, gold, the Greens, nuts. It's
[21:42] beautiful. But Winter has its own beauty. Like there is a beauty to looking out in Northeast Ohio on the freshly fallen snow. When those ice storms and those things happen and you're inside nice and toasty looking out the window, it's beautiful. It is beautiful. The glimmer to shine, the sparkle, it's a beautiful thing there. There's a beauty in the winter.
[22:10] That's actually one of the things that has me sorta kind of changing my mind about living in Cleveland and it, and it is because of the beauty of the snow. You know, we live in a, it's not really rural, but we have a lot of trees. We've got a lot of trees in the front, trees in the back. But if you look out of our front window on a fresh snow, the tree, the snow just lands ever so perfectly on the trees. And it just reminds me of a beautifully dressed tree. Like God dressed it perfectly. It's clean. It's like Sam said, it's sparkling, you know, it just glistens it and it really is beautiful. It's picture perfect. And then the other thing about Winters beauty is, you know around the holidays we're looking for that perfect Winter scenery to send for our Christmas card. Okay. You know that is, everybody wants to send that beautiful picture of the Winter scenery on their cards. It was a really beautiful, it really is beautiful. I don't like it on the roads, but you know.
[23:25] We have to understand that Winter, even when we're in Winter in our marriage, it's first of all it's a God given season. It is and it's, it has its unique beauty. There is beauty in Winter. It's also a great season for planning. You know, we plan in Winter. Most people do. Like you didn't just get that a new year's resolution thing off by yourself. Right. God plugged that thing in. You know, we plan in Winter. One of the things that Erica and I have planned, we plan our vacations generally in the Winter. We kind of map those things out. If we're getting ready to do big initiatives or family stuff or just things that we want to do in our marriage. A couple of years ago we decided that we were going to go to some marriage conferences, so we spent the Winter months kind of picking out the people we wanted to hear, speak and mapping out, you know, one road trip.
[24:23] I think we were trying to do a road trip every other month, you know, so we're mapping out where we're going. Yeah, we don't, we're not real fond of that. I was going to say hate but that's a strong word. Especially since we do have listeners in Atlanta. Yes, thank you so much, but you guys, that traffic is not our favorite place but we will go. And we will probably be there. So we will be there. Yeah. So Winter is a place for planning and when we talk about it from a marital standpoint, it's a place where you and your spouse can kind of look out into the future together where you can look and, and kind of chart your path. Where is it that you want to go? Winter, a Winter season in your marriage is a great place to do that because of some of those other things we talked about. One of the things too, Babe, that I just thought about is in the Winter, you know we have January, that's the beginning of the new year.
[25:22] That is generally when people decide I want to make a fresh start. Yes, I want to do something different this year. This year we have an initiative of ""not this year" going on in our church. So yeah, we want to, we make want to make changes in our lives and do things differently in the Winter. And the same things apply in our marriage. It's a great time to make those kinds of commitments, those kinds of changes. Right! Winter in your marriage is it's all most because of stillness. It's almost set for a term like you've stopped going in one direction, you slowed down, slowed down, gradually come to a stop. Now you can change direction and begin to momentum going into that new direction. And Winter just, it kind of affords us that opportunity and we have to remember to think of it as a couple. We can do these things as a unit, as a new one, flesh one, mind oneness couple to make those turns and to be pulling in the same direction together. So what Winter isn't, and this is probably my favorite part because Winter does get a bad rap. Y'all, my wife doesn't like Winter. I do not, but I'm starting to win seasons and you know, I'm really starting to, to get used to it. I've just, she's all, no, she's only been in north east. I was born and raised my whole life and I just knew when I turned 18, I was out. But I came back and ideally, but I came back. Yes.
[27:12] So winter isn't. Winter is not a dead season. Right! So when we say a marriage is in a Winter and we're not saying that your marriage is dead, we're not saying that your marriage, that your love is dead because it's Winter. People describe a time when a person is not spiritually growing or not spiritually connected. They're in a Winter season. They're in a Winter season and that's just, that's just not true. Spiritual things are not dead in the Winter. They're different in the Winter. You're marriage is not dead in the Winter. It's just different in the Winter. And your love for your spouse is not dead in the Winter. It's different in the Winter. Uh, we keep that in mind and we also keep in mind the fact that as sure as we have Winter, Spring is coming too. Spring, uh Winter also has a connotation of being a desperate season. And I don't know, I don't think that that's all by accident.
[28:13] Winter is desperate when we haven't handled a previous seasons properly. Right. And a lot of the references we see in scripture are about agriculture. They're kind of agricultural pictures. So if a person didn't uh, plant and 10, their crops and harvest didn't come into Winter and they don't have anything. Right! So before the next things start to grow, they starve and die. And that is a very desperate picture. If we think about our marriages that way. Winter Season of Winter in our marriage can be desperate also if we don't take the time to handle those other seasons. I wanted to um, back up when we were talking about Winter is not a dead season and we can sometimes get so caught up in our feelings and what we believe is going on in our marriage that it really will feel that way. It really will.
[29:17] We will believe that it is dead. That there isn't anything that we can do about it. There isn't any, there wasn't any amount of prayer, any amount of counseling. Nothing will bring this thing back to life because we believe that it's, it's dead. But we know that not to be true. You know, if we're in the mindset of this being a season and then a scripture when you were talking about desperation and scripture that I think about all the time with that is Proverbs 31 :21 where it says "when it snows, she has no fear for her household, for all of them are clothed in scarlet". That is that virtuous woman who we all ascribe to be taking care of her business. Um, you know, she, she's good. She has prepared her. She has had her servants go out and gather as much food. They have gotten everything from the land.
[30:11] She has made all the clothing with scarlet and they are ready. So she is not desperate. She's sitting back and she's waiting on her rest in her Winter season. And that's the other part, because there's a huge contrast that we see in scripture between those people that haven't done the things that you're supposed to do, right. And their desperation versus the people that have done the things that they're supposed to do and their contentment. And, and we see them being blessed just like the Proverbs 31 woman is blessed and her children are blessed. All, everyone is blessed because she did all these other things and the other seasons. Right! So that when Winter started, and it was that time where cabin fever kicked in you can't get around a lot, that they're pulling out their fresh clothes. It says clothed in scarlet. You know, that means that they had on the, they have some logos y'all they had on, UGG they were geared up for the Winter. Right!
[31:22] You had on the fancy stuff. And there absolutely is a distinction drawn between those people that are, that are have been obedient and those people that haven't. Uh, because we see them and I guess we were to modernize that thing. I always think of like a ski lodge. It can be 2 feet of snow outside, but at a ski lodge, you're sitting back, you've got a fluffy sweater on, you got your big boots on, you got your feet propped up on the, uh, the fireplace. It's the biggest fireplaces, it's the size of a room you lay back in the recliner. Huge cup of cocoa looking at this picturesque mountain, a book, land on your stomach as you doze off to sleep. You know, that is my idea of a Winter vacation, my family members want to go skiing. I just want to hang out it
[32:19] in the snow lodge. The Lodge. That's the example of a person who has handled their business and their other seasons. That is true and that can be a picture of who we are and our Winter as husband and wife. Right! If we do those things that we're supposed to do in those other seasons, we can have that kind of restoration, that kind of, that kind of piece, that kind of contentment. You said that before. Yeah. In that season, because we know that our needs are met. Right! We know that there is excess, we know that there's, there won't be any lack because there's nothing to be concerned about that God is in control. We can rest in that season in the way that God designed us to rest. That's good. People think that Winter's like a dry season, so if it's dry in my marriage, I'm calling it Winter and that's, that's just not accurate because we know Winter is, is as wet a season as any other season.
[33:18] Like where there's lots of rain in Winter. If you live in a place without snow, if you live in a place with snow, you know there's precipitation coming down all the time. When Winter is over, actually you, you know, the ground is soggy everywhere. Winter's the opposite of a dry season, but we have kind of, I don't know if it seemed emotionalism or if is just western culture, we've just, or it's just people giving Winter bad rap that we connect Winter with like a dry season and it's just, that's just not true. I did a little, just a little bit of research on the Winter season. Well actually I did a little bit more than that, but it was, um, the Encyclopedia Britannica. Wow. I know, I went way back. I knew I was dating myself. The kids are probably like, what is that? They actually said that Winter means water and snow, you know, in preparation for Spring.
[34:19] I wonder where they got that from. I don't know. That's in the Bible. Imagine that. Well, we'll talk about that later though. I mean in a different episode. That's also in the book. It's also lastly, it's called uh, people consider it the season that they associate most with depression. And I think that has a little to do with isolation too. But Winter can be as fun and fulfilling as any other season. You just have to remember it as different. So as you think about your marriage being in Winter, that means that things aren't moving at the same tempo they move the rest of the year. That means that there isn't as much activity, there isn't as much growth. They're still things you can do to really make it a fulfilling season. Those things that that we talked about in previous episodes, those uh, meeting your spouse's emotional needs. Those love languages. Love languages, all of those things that you've had a chance to kind of work out in those other seasons.
[35:23] Figure out which ones are the right ones, which ones are the wrong ones, what to do, what not to do, what not to do. You had a chance to find tune those all year long and you get to bring them in and use them all Winter. Right. When it's really just a tool of you. We've been talking about the date nights, you know, especially in the month of February. The date night , the getaway, the gift. We've really been giving tools I guess in preparation for the Winter season. Like you said it just happened to have lined up that way. Yeah. Yeah. Imagine that. But it, what that does is just like Sam was saying, it really gives us things to do in the Winter season. You know, we're watering our marriage, you know, we are meeting our spouse's emotional needs, we are spending time together, we've learned some things that we want to do with that recreational companionship.
[36:20] We've learned some things that we have in common and we've gotten rid of some things that we didn't have in common. So these are some things that we can definitely, um, bring into our going into the Winter. Right. And you know, we also look out, like we talked about in the beginning, you know, this is a great time for planning. So, so yeah, we bring all those things, but then we can look up and, you know, start dreaming together. Right. For the future. You know, what are we going to do in our Spring when activity picks up? How are we going to stay connected? What things are we going to do this year? You know, those are the kinds of things that we do as husband and wife in our season of Winter. It's a great season for building new spiritual disciplines. You know, again, I hate to keep talking about New Year's resolutions, but that's just, that's just kinda how it gets shaped a lot of time.
[37:15] But those spiritual disciplines almost feel more natural to start a new in the Winters when things are slower, when things are less busy, you can be more introspective. Right, right. We've had some, some spiritual disciplines that we work on traditionally at that in the, in the Winter. One of the things that we do is we do a fast, in the beginning of every year, we do a 40 day fast and it's something that you and I, we do together our Fast is exactly the same. We start on the same day and we end it on the same day. Um, and it really has definitely set a tone for our, I believe that it set a tone for our marriage from January all the way up until December. You know, it gives us, we've spent this time praying together. We've both been in our word and it really just it, I believe that it sets a tone.
[38:07] It has definitely shielded us from a bunch of shenanigans that can take place, you know, in a marriage. But I really do believe that that has been a blessing. You know, what are the things to Babe that I wanted to, to back up and say is when we are, when we find ourselves, like we were talking about, there is a time, there is a season for slowing down and season for movement. When we find ourselves being of order and in those particular seasons, like if we're busy, we're supposed to be slowing down in the month, in the Winter season and we're busy, busy, busy, our marriage will reflect that because we are definitely doing something we're not supposed to be doing. We're supposed to be resting and we're still, you know, moving about as if it were Spring or as if it were a Summer and we'll see ourselves pulling apart.
[39:00] We're disconnecting from one one another because we really should be spending that time together together. You know, we think about, and this was a point that I wanted to mention when we were talking about Winter having a rap of being like the depressed season. Uh, one element of Winter is isolation. Right! Right! There is an element of the Winter in our marriage where it's just you and I, just the two of us. Right! And that's not a bad thing. That's a good thing. Even if it's not an exciting time, that isolation, isolation is not a, it's not a bad thing. It's one of those things that you find that in scripture, that's when people get close to God. You know, when Jesus wanted to be close to the father, he would go away in isolation. He would go off by himself. Right! That's where he would see God.
[39:56] When Moses wanted to see God, when it was time for Moses to see God face to face, he went places where nobody could go. It was just him and God. So isolation is a very biblical concept and we need to embrace that as husband and wife in this season, this Winter season, when things are not a lot of movement. It's just me and you might even feel a little dull, great time to seek the Father. Right! That's a great time to lean in. That's a great time to work. That thing, that spiritual thing, that's what Winter is all about. It's also, you know, as far as isolation, we talked about this. It's a good time for us to be with the Father alone. Yeah. You know, we definitely want to be with Him as a couple, but definitely alone where we really get some time to "be still and to know that He's God". Right and to hear what it is that He has.
[40:58] Because a lot of times our plans for the future are completely different for what God has planned for us for the future. So if we are still, and having that time, that isolation with Him, then He can give us direction. Uh, you know, if we're surrendering to His will, not our will and He can tell us what it is that we want to do or that He would have us to do in our future and individually and as a couple, as a couple. Absolutely. In our marriage. Right? Yeah. So we hope that we were able to shed a little light on the seasons. We hope that we were able to explain a little bit about what Winter is. There's so much more to this, but we hope that you enjoy listening. As we wrap up this week, there are a couple of things we just want to ask.
[41:44] We want to ask that you guys continue to pray for us. We can tell that they're folk out there, they're praying for us and this podcast. Yes. Thank you so much for your prayers because there are things happening with this podcast that we know are much bigger than us, so we appreciate it and we just ask that you would continue to pray for us and pray for this podcast. Uh, know that we're praying for you. Don't, don't, don't Erica said is my thing is don't forget to subscribe Y'all. Right. We need you to hit that subscribe button. And uh, we also want you to share our podcast. You know, if, if, if you've enjoyed some of the episodes, uh, we're asking that you just word of mouth, just share it with two people. Hey this podcast these people, they're kind of crazy just Google Sam and Erica's marriage and it pops right up. Share it with two people. We really appreciate that.
[42:37] And we have an action item for you. Imagine that. Imagine that. So take some time throughout this month and I'm saying month. So this is going to be the same thing every, every week. Um, because we're going to be talking about seasons all month. So take some time throughout this month and pay attention to which it sees in your marriages. And so right now we're talking about the Winter season. Your marriage very well could not, it could be in a Fall season. It can be in a Spring or a Summer season. If it feels like it's in a Winter season the way you knew it, take some time to see if you can make the best of it. Let us know how it goes. Leave us a comment on whatever platform you listen to. We want to connect with you. We're eager to hear from you. That's right. All right. Thank you so much for listening. God bless. God bless.